More on the Meaning of Life

Of course, it seemed even clearer back then, didn't it?

At last, the Meaning of Life revealed!

Wiley Miller's Non Sequitur is one of my favorite comic strips. Like Bill Watterston and Berke Breathed before him, he has a way of looking at things and cutting right through the BS -- with a sense of humor, too!

Today's strip is a fine example:

Finally made it!

I am now an officially rejected author.

Back in May, I pitched my middle-reader ghost story/hidden treasure story Haunted Hacienda to Anna Webman of Curtis Brown.

Just yesterday, Ms Webman told me in a nice letter that she needs to love something to represent it, but that she "couldn't quite find the connection" that she would have hoped for in my manuscript.

She just couldn't find the love...

Ah, well. She was too young for me, anyway.

I'm off now in search of a list of agents, among whom there must be one in whom I can engender at least a spark of like, if not love.

Suggestions welcome.

Civil Discourse

Photo courtesy DemoOkie, who didn't say where he got it:

I guess this means Brrrthrrs, too!

August 17, 2009

In Move to Appease Critics, Obama Promises to Extend Health Care Coverage to Morons

Appeal to Key Demographic

Facing opposition to his health care reform proposals, President Barack Obama has decided to reach out to a key demographic: morons.

Starting this week, Mr. Obama will host a series of town halls to roll out new features of his health care plan which will extend health care coverage to "all idiotic Americans," in the words of one White House source.

"We clearly underestimated the role that doofuses and dimwits were going to play in this debate," the source said. "We want to send them the message that this plan will give them coverage - but we need to come up with a one-syllable word for ‘coverage.'"

But critics of the President's new plan worry that extending coverage to every American who is a few bricks shy of a load could triple the size of the nation's deficit.

"The sheer number of lamebrains in the U.S. is much greater than the Administration estimates," says Davis Logsdon, who studies the demography of idiots at the University of Minnesota. "Just look at Glenn Beck's ratings."

In other news, Michael Vick said he would renounce violence and rejoin the NFL.

America begged Woodstock celebrants to keep their clothes on.

A study shows that most marriages fail because of uncontrollable time-traveling.

Apple unveiled a new iPhone app that lets you talk to people on the phone.

Steven Tyler and Aerosmith released a new single, "Walker This Way."

And former presidential candidate John Edwards said, "There are two Americas, and I have children in each of them." More here.

Keep your shirt on

Okay, so it's been three weeks since I posted last.

I've been busy, and distracted, and reading books. I'd rather read a book than grumble here, any day.

I'll catch up on my "read" and "reading" lists, maybe tomorrow.

Meanwhile, why don't you go read something?

Here's Andy...

New England Journal of Medicine Reports Mental Health Epidemic Among Republican Governors

Erratic Behaviors Cited

A new study published today in the New England Journal of Medicine warns of a "mental health epidemic" afflicting the nation's Republican governors.

According to the study, the symptoms of the epidemic include "bizarre, uncontrollable behaviors" and "grandiose self-ideations," including an impulse to compare oneself to Biblical figures.

The study also says that the mental disorder is manifest in "erratic, incoherent" speech and a syndrome akin to Tourette "in which the patient does not appear to know when to stop talking."

There are other worrisome symptoms, such as "geographical dislocation," in which the afflicted person may think he is hiking in North America when he is actually having sex in South America.

Finally, and most troubling according to the study, the patient "may speak in basketball analogies that have meaning to no one but the speaker."

One story, many heroes

This story from the Military Times showed up on on the Airborne Early Warning Association mail list. It's like something from M*A*S*H

We see the casualty lists, but we don't often get to see the faces that go with the stories.

Fun with blogging!

When I read some of the responses "big" blogs like The Daily Kos get, I think obscurity might not be so bad.

Here's a recent example: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/6/27/747350/-Saturday-hate-mail-apalooza

Thanks, Andy Borowitz, for helping us see the serious side...

July 3, 2009

Comedians Mourn Palin's Resignation

Candlelight Vigils Held

Moments after Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin announced her resignation from office, comedians from coast to coast held candlelight vigils to mourn what one comic called "a devastating loss."

"To say that we are heartbroken is a massive understatement," said Shecky Sheinbaum, a regular headliner at Cincinnati's Laugh Hut. "I feel like the chicken crossing the road has been run over by a truck before it gets to the other side."

Mr. Sheinbaum echoed the words of many comics when he said "the world of comedy has lost one of its greatest targets."

"We have gone though a rough couple of weeks," he said. "First Michael Jackson, now this."

Can I get one for my car?

We science fiction fans have been reading about energy beam weapons for a long time -- and Star Wars wouldn't have been the same without all those slashing laser bolts. But in real life, energy weapons have always seemed to have too many negatives to be practical.

Well, it appears the practical is a bit nearer. The Air Force just announced the successful test firing of a high-power tactical laser in flight. And, according to the article, the laser hit what the testing folks aimed at.

Of course, the firing took place out over the White Sands Missile Range, where nothing could be in the way. I'll be interested to hear more about tests in the fog, or jungles, or the murky haze of a muggy coastal summer day -- or in a West Texas dust storm.

Forgotten Pulitzers

While rummaging through the "hold folder" a few minutes ago, I came across this April 15 newsletter from Abe Books:

"It's almost Pulitzer time again. The winners of the 2009 Pulitzer Prizes will be announced on April 20th. With the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction regarded as one of the highest awards a novel can receive, you would think winning one would ensure an enduring literary legacy. The winners enjoy their time in the limelight, but not all become the lasting classics one might expect. In some cases, the books even fade into obscurity.

With the 2009 annoucement just around the corner, AbeBooks has compiled a list of the Top Ten Forgotten Pulitzer Prize-Winning Novels."

There were only three authors whose names I recognized, and only one book I'd actually read. (Advise and Consent, back in the '60s.) I know. I should have read Dressler, but I haven't. I don't think.

While you're at it, take note of the max prices the various books have brought at Abe Books.

Healthcare Reform Debate in a Nutshell?

Free Press Launches FreeMyPhone Campaign

The media reform organization Free Press launched a new campaign today in its grander effort to free up the Internet. Called FreeMyPhone, the campaign "calls on leaders in Washington to open up wireless networks and promote consumer choice."

Campaign on! I don't have any iPhones or Berries of any color -- but I fully support FreePress's efforts to break the stranglehold of the same monopolistic monoliths that have plagued us since we first started sending signals along wires.

Sing Along with Rush!

Enjoy this from HuffPost Comedy.

While you're there, check out the "Palin/Letterman controversy in one minute"

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Rachel and Her Chariot

Mary Lynn in Indianapolis sent me this link to a video story about 89-year-old Rachel Veitch and her 1967 Mercury Comet Caliente.

She's the original owner, and she's put all 540,00o miles on the car's original engine.
While I don't doubt that Ms Veitch is a safe and skillful driver, I was chilled by her description of her last license renewal -- at age 85. The state renewed her license for five more years, without any kind of test. The clerk told her "the elderly" objected to testing, claiming discrimination. That's scary.

I remember a few years back, driving along in some South Carolina city, when an octogenarian woman driving in the adjacent lane sort of drifted into mine, very gently bonked against the side of my car, drifted back into her lane and drove on. She apparently was unaware we'd "contacted" each other. I had son Jonathan and a couple of his Boys' State friends in the car, so we didn't go chasing...

I'm ambivalent about "the elderly" behind the wheel. I'm still a few years away from Rachel Veitch's age, and I'm convinced that I'm as good a driver as I ever was. Never mind that my neck doesn't twist quite as easily as it did 20 years ago, or that I can't always hear the turn signal clicking. I'm doing just fine, thank you. And I should be able to drive as long as I'm able.

Rachel Veitch is right about one thing, for sure. "Able" should include "safe." One way to help ensure safety is to require regular testing at renewal for all -- with shorter renewal and testing frequencies for higher-risk drivers.

Remind me in 25 years that I said that.

Happy Birthday, Joyce Carol Oates

Born this day in 1938, sez the Encyclopedia Britannica, which describes her as an "American novelist, short-story writer, and essayist noted for her vast literary output in a variety of styles and genres. Particularly effective are her depictions of violence and evil in modern society."

True confession time: I've never finished a JCO book. I get bored. I find I can't care about the characters or their situations. I find Ms Oate's style thick and, well, boring.

Here's more from Britannica:

"Oates’s novels encompass a variety of historical settings and literary genres. She typically portrays American individuals whose intensely experienced and obsessive lives end in bloodshed and self-destruction owing to larger forces beyond their control. Her books blend a realistic treatment of everyday life with horrific and even sensational depictions of violence."

Yummy!